Legal Questions & Answers

Question:

I would like to ask the experts about legal rights. My son and his ex have split up and she is not allowing my son to see his son. I have been trying to negotiate between the two of them and for a while we were involved with my Grandson and got to see him when we asked but now she does not answer my calls when i enquire how my grandson is and i get the feeling she no longer wants us in his life either. What can i do?  

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your grandson. Your family appear to be facing two different problems - firstly the difficulties that you son is having in maintaining contact with his son and secondly your own difficulties which, whilst coupled with your son's problems, are potentially something different.

I think the first thing that you need to do is to advise your son to go and get some legal advice about his own rights.  If he is able to re-establish contact with his son then it sounds as if you will also get to see him and that may solve the problem. You are however caught somewhat in the middle of the dispute between your son and daughter-in-law and it may be that she sees you only in the terms trying to help your son achieve good contact. It might be sensible to approach her on the basis that you do not want to take sides,  that you are merely trying to maintain a relationship with your grandson and that whilst they are sorting out their differences, you will ensure that any contact you have with him is just with you and not with your son.  Whilst you may find this very difficult, it may be the key to you re-establishing contact with your grandson whilst his parents try to come to a mutually acceptable arrangement.

If your daughter in law still will not allow you any contact then you may find yourself having to take further steps.  The legal system recognises the importance of grandparents and offers an opportunity to apply through the court system for a contact order if necessary.  Grandparents do not have an automatic right to make that application and you would have to apply to the court for permission to do so but provided that you could show that you have had a meaningful and close relationship with your grandson then the court is likely to grant you permission and you will then be able to go on and pursue your application for contact.

You would then have to show to the court that contact would be in your grandson's best interests in order to be successful.  That application may involve a report being carried out by a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) who will look at any welfare issues including what each parties' concerns are and how they might best be addressed.  They will also take into account your grandson's wishes (if he is old enough to express them). If you can demonstrate that it would be in his best interests for the contact to continue then the court is likely to make a contact order which can be enforced if necessary. Obviously it is best to try and sort this type of dispute out between the parties themselves and avoid court if possible and although communication has often broken down in these sorts of situations, there are other avenues that can be explored eg negotiation between solicitors or mediation.

It is often just a case of trying to break the deadlock that has arisen between the parent and grandparents and of addressing each of their concerns appropriately.  It is after all the children's best interests that need to be considered and not the parents or grandparents and clearly if there has been a close relationship it is likely to be helpful to the child for that to continue. These are potentially complex issues and I would strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of this matter to ensure that you get the correct advice right from the start.

This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists  www.family-lawfirm.co.uk  Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters and acts for client all over the country and indeed throughout the world.  She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

I am not actually a grandparent, I'm just wondering if there is any way I can reassure my kids' grandparents that they will never be denied access? I have told them many times however it still seems to causing problems as they still at times don't believe me and think I'm going to stop them seeing the children. I have never gave them any reason to think this however they have a grandchild they were stopped from seeing and this seems to be where it stems from. This is actually causing a lot of unneccesary friction which is no good for anyone and I would like it resolved so it doesnt come up anymore.

Answer: 

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in reassuring your children's grandparents in respect of contact with your children. This is potentially a difficult area and one that causes a lot of concern for grandparents. Unfortunately when relationships breakdown between adult children and their parents it is often the grandchildren who suffer from being deprived of their relationship with their grandparents.  Similarly when a relationship between two parents break down, one set of grandparents often find that their contact with their grandchildren is considerably reduced or even stops completely.

I think that all you can do in your situation is continue to reassure your parents and parents-in-law that there is no question that you would deprive them of contact with the children even if such a situation did arise in your own family. You can also tell them that the legal system recognises the importance of grandparents and offers an opportunity to apply through the court system for a contact order if that becomes necessary.  Grandparents do not have an automatic right to make that application and would have to apply to the court for permission to do so but provided that they can show that they have had a meaningful and close relationship with the children then they will virtually always be granted the necessary permission.

If a grandparent can demonstrate that it would be in the best interest of the children for the contact to continue then the court is likely to make a contact order which can be enforced if necessary.Obviously it is best to try and sort this type of dispute out between the parties themselves and avoid court if possible and although communication has often broken down in these sort of situations, there are other avenues that can be explored eg negotiation between solicitors or mediation.

It is often just a case of trying to break the deadlock that has arisen between the parents and grandparents and of addressing each of their concerns appropriately.  It is after all the children's best interests that need to be considered and not the parents or grandparents and clearly if there has been a close relationship it is likely to be helpful to the children for that to continue. I hope that this goes some way towards reassuring both you and your parents/parents-in-law. 

This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists  www.family-lawfirm.co.uk .Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters.  She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

I am being denied access to my grandchildren and am absolutely devastated. What rights do I have and what can I do about this situation? 

Answer: 

Thank you for your enquiry and I am sorry that you are experiencing such difficulties in seeing your grandchildren. I can reassure you that the courts do acknowledge the important and supportive role that grandparents play in a child's life and will, if possible, support the maintaining of that role where the relationship between the adults has broken down.

It sounds as if the relationship between you and your daughter has reached a stage where it is unlikely that you are able to discuss the matter with her further.  It may therefore be sensible for you (or you could ask a lawyer to do it on your behalf) to write to her making it clear that whatever the problems are between you, you only wish to maintain contact with your grandchildren with whom you have probably had a very close relationship and who must be puzzled and possibly distressed by the lack of contact with you. 

You could also see whether she would be prepared to agree to you both undergoing some mediation with an independent mediator to explore what her concerns are and to try and reach a mutually acceptable agreement.If this does not work (or is not practicable) then you have the right to make an application under s8 of the Children Act 1989 to your local court for permission to apply for contact with the children.  This is an extra step that anyone who is not a parent of a child has to make and you will need to satisfy the court that you have a meaningful and important connection with the children in order to be granted permission. Permission is only likely to be withheld if the court thinks that the level of conflict between yourself and your daughter is so great that the disruption to the children as a result of the proceedings would be harmful to them.  This is relatively unusual and in most cases permission is granted.

Provided you were successful, you would then be able to proceed with an application for contact and, if you are able to establish that this would be in the children's best interests, the court would grant you a contact order. Your application is likely to involve the court ordering that a report should be carried out by a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to look into any welfare issues, to establish what the views of the children are (if they are old enough to express them) and to look at the concerns of all the parties who are involved.  That report will make a recommendation to the court as to what action they feel should be taken.

These are potentially complex cases to deal with and I would therefore strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of this matter to ensure that you get the correct advice right from the start. 

This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists www.family-lawfirm.co.uk Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters.  As a result of Woolley & Co's extensive use of technology, she is able to act for clients in any location and has a large caseload throughout the UK and indeed abroad. Judith is happy to accept instructions at any time and can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

We have a 7 month old grandchild that we have only seen a handfull of times, the mother being present at all times, our son, on our advice ended his relationship with the mother just before our grandchild was born, our son therefore has never been a full time father and visits his child a few hours a week at the childs home, our grandchild is very attached to her mother and is breastfed, but we as grandparents feel that we should have a say in our grandchilds life and wish to have nothing to do with the mother, a child should not be breast fed at 7 months old as government recommendation is only to breast feed untill the child becomes the age of 6 months and no child should be that attached to a mother. The mother is refusing to allow our grandchild to come to our house to stay at weekends, we are not prepared to discuss things with the mother or take up her offer of contact of once a month at her home, i can not stress enough how we do not want anything to do with this woman. We are making an application to the courts for the mother to be forced to allow us entry into her property to take our grandchild at weekends, which she would also be needed to be forced to stop breast feeding, we are very confident that we will succeed with this through the courts, but would be greatful for your opinion on this matter.

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your granddaughter. I can appreciate how difficult it is for you as grandparents to be deprived of a chance of developing a relationship with your 7 month old granddaughter. The courts do acknowledge the important and supportive role that grandparents can play in a child's life but it is also important to appreciate that they will not take any steps that will undermine a child's relationship with their parent.

There can often be a conflict between the views that different people take in respect of a child's needs but unless there is a positive danger to a child's emotional or physical needs, the court is not going to take any steps in intervening in issues as to how a parent is bringing up their child. I do not think therefore that you will successfully persuade the court to intervene in the issue of whether or not your former daughter in law should be breastfeeding as this is clearly something that a parent has a right to decide for themselves. Neither do I think that the court will consider it appropriate for you to have contact for a whole weekend against the mother's wishes at this stage.  This is a very young child and if you are able to persuade the court that contact with yourselves is in her best interests, they will want this to be built up very gradually and carefully.

I think that the key to this problem is communication between yourself and your former daughter in law.  I would strongly recommend that you take up her offer of contact once per month so that you can at least re-establish some contact with your granddaughter. If this matter came before the court they would certainly question why you are not taking up the contact on offer and I do not think it would help your application if you continued to insist that contact must only take place on your terms.

However bad your relationship with the mother, it is inevitable that she will be involved in contact arrangements and if you at least start to establish some contact, you may find that you are able to agree to move matters on in due course. I certainly do not think that the court would take any other approach and if you are able to address these matters between yourselves, possibly with the help of mediators and/or solicitors, you are far more likely to reach a workable solution that if you undergo long, expensive and contentious court proceedings.

As you may be aware, grandparents do not have an automatic right to apply to a court for an order in relation to their grandchildren.  You will therefore need to apply to the court for leave to make an application for contact before you progress the main application.  You will need to demonstrate that you have an important and meaningful relationship with your granddaughter in order to succeed in that application.

If you are given permission then it is likely that the court will appoint a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to look into any welfare issues and to look at the concerns of all parties who are involved.  That report will make a recommendation to the court as to whether they feel that on balance, contact with yourselves is in the best interests of your granddaughter. 

I appreciate that you must feel very distressed and frustrated by the situation.  I can reassure you that the court system will give you an opportunity to try and resolve these difficulties but any solution will need to be centred around the family as a whole without ever losing sight of the fact that the court is always going to consider the child's needs as paramount. These types of matters are potentially complex cases to deal with and I would therefore strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of this matter to ensure that you get the correct advice right from the start. 

This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists  www.family-lawfirm.co.uk     Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters.  She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

I have my 11 month young grandson living with me. His mother is in prison awaiting sentence. His father,(my son) has recently been released from prison. Both parents are addicts and the mother has already lost 2 children because of heroin addiction. I would like to get full custody of my grandson for his own safety and security. What are my chances of this please?

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the situation you find yourself in with relation to your grandson.
I am assuming that your grandson is the subject of a care order in view of the fact that both parents are serving or have recently served custodial sentences for drugs offences and are heroin addicts. I am also assuming that you have been appointed as his foster carer by the Local Authority.
The order that you will need to apply for is a residence order which if made in your favour will mean that your grandchild will continue to live with you. It will also give you parental responsibility for him as long as the order continues. This means that you can take most of the decisions that a parent can take about his care and upbringing. As you are not the parent you are not automatically entitled to apply for a residence order and you will need to apply for the permission of the court before you can apply. In view of the fact that your grandson is living with you already, I have little doubt that the court would grant that permission.
A residence order will not affect your grandson's legal relationship with his parents and nor will it take away their parental responsibility which you would share with them. I do not know whether either your son or his partner are ultimately looking for your grandson to be returned to their care but if they are then they may either oppose your application for residence now or may make their own application at a later date when either of them considers themselves in a better position to resume care.
If the Local Authority support your application for residence then your chances of success are much greater than if they opposed it. You will need to convince the court that your grandson's best interests would be served by their making a residence order in your favour and clearly you would need to demonstrate that neither of his parents are capable of meeting his physical or emotional needs at the moment and that you can and are doing so. In view of the parents' situation you would be attempting to show that he would be at risk of emotional or actual harm if returned to their care which from what you say is likely to be supported by the Local Authority.
If you have been receiving payments from the Local Authority because you are a foster carer, you will lose these payments if you are successful in gaining a residence order. You will therefore need to weigh up the financial loss against the additional security that you and your grandson will achieve by way of a residence order. Some Local Authorities continue to pay allowances to the holders of residence orders although these are seldom as much as you will have received as a foster carer. This is something that you should check with your own Local Authority.
These are potentially complex cases to deal with and I would therefore strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of this matter to ensure that you get the correct advice right from the start.
This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists www.family-lawfirm.co.uk Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters. She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

What is the position regarding access to grandchildren for the grandparent when the daughter in law refuses to allow any access or contact with the grandchildren due to the grandfather having received a conviction under law.

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your grandchildren.If your daughter in law will not allow you any contact with your grandchildren then you may find yourself having to make an application to the local county court for a contact order. I would certainly try to discuss the situation with your daughter-in-law first if possible either in person, through letter or even with the help of an independent third party eg a mediator. However, if communications between you are so bad that this is not possible, then you will have to issue an application to the court for permission to make an application for contact. Providing you can show that you have had a meaningful and important relationship with the children previously, the court is likely to grant you permission.You would then have to show to the court that contact would be in the children's best interests in order to be successful. That application will almost inevitably involve a comprehensive report being carried out by a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) who will look at any welfare issues including whether the children's grandfather poses any threat to their well being.
That is not necessarily an easy question to answer and will depend on the circumstances of the conviction. If the conviction involves anything to do with children and/or is of a sexual nature then the court is going to need to carry out a careful risk assessment to establish what the risks are. Similarly if the conviction is for violence then you may expect the court to be concerned as to the risks.
However, if the conviction is for something that is not really going to affect the wellbeing of the children then the risk is going to be that much less and will have less of an impact on any application you make.
These are potentially complex cases to deal with and it certainly seems as if your situation is somewhat more complicated than usual. I would therefore strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of this matter to ensure that you get the correct advice right from the start.
This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists www.family-lawfirm.co.uk Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters. She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

My daughter and son-in-law are married and have two sons, aged 2 and a half years, and 8 months. I was always close to grand-children especially the eldest, looking after him a day a week when my daughter returned to work. Since my daughter and son-in-law have had their second child, things have changed. I am no longer able to see my grand-children, and I am heart broken. I have tried, phoning and writing to discuss the matter, and the problem? But no replies at all. I have now had to go to the County Court yesterday and issue proceedings for a Contact Order, to try and see my grand-children. My daughter and son-in-law allow the other grandparents contact whenever they want it. They have recently all gone on holiday together, I sent my grandsons, pocket money for the holiday, but heard nothing and even a thankyou. I am very close to my eldest grandson, and I think it ia about time the government in this country gave grandparents legal rights to see their grandchildren. Not seeing my grandchildren is causing me a lot of stress, and heartache. I have had to see my G.P. several times. I have lost 2 stones in weight in the psst two months, and have endless sleepless nights, as I miss my grandchildren so much. I have got to believe that the Contact Order which I have applied for, will give me contact with my grandchildren again. I do not know how the government cannot give grandparents rights to see their grandchildren. I am hearbroken and ill, not being able to see my grandchildren and my daughter and son-in-law have given no reason why they have stopped contact? I sm 54 years of age and live in a 2 bed house alone, I promised my eldest grandson, we would get a swing for the garden for the summer time, but now I do not see them at all, I do wish the government would give grandparents legal rights to see their grandchildren. I would not wish these circumstances on any grandparent. Having my grand children, has been one of if not the best thing that has ever happenned to me, now I cannot see them at all with no reason given? I feel so lost and empty inside, without seeing my grandson.

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your grandchildren. I understand how very upsetting it must be to suddenly have your contact stopped with your two grandsons and for your daughter and son-in-law to refuse to discuss the matter with you.
I think you have done exactly the right thing in making an application to your local County Court for a contact order and I can reassure you that the courts do recognise the important role that grandparents play and the importance of the relationship between a grandchild and his grandparents. They do not look at these matters on the basis of "rights" of a grandparent or indeed the rights of the parents but rather make their decisions on the basis of what is in the children's best interest. If you can convince a court that continuing contact is in the children's best interest then the court will make a contact order.
As a grandparent you will have to go through one additional step in your application which is to apply for permission to make the contact application. This is not a step that a parent has to take but it is usually not too difficult to obtain that permission as all you need to do to be successful is to satisfy the court that you have a meaningful and important connection with your grandsons. From what you say, that seems to be the case and you should therefore be successful in obtaining that permission. Thereafter you will be able to proceed with your application and, if you are able to establish that continuing contact would be in the children's best interests, the court will grant you contact. As you may be aware, the application is likely to involve a report being carried out by the CAFCASS organisation (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Services) to look into any welfare issues and to look at what each of the involved parties have to say about the matter.These sorts of applications are potentially complex and difficult to deal with and I would strongly advise you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer in respect of handling your application. You may also find that this would be helpful in trying to reach a compromise as it is often easier to achieve this if someone who is one step removed from the situation becomes involved.
This advice has been prepared by Judith Buckland a solicitor from Woolley & Co, family law specialists www.family-lawfirm.co.uk. Judith has extensive experience in acting for grandparents in these types of matters. She can be contacted by email at judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk or by telephone on 0845 680 1651 for further advice.

Question:

My daughter's partner, who is not the father of 3 of her children has forbidden her to let the children have contact with us, their grandparents. This man is a verbal bully and is gradually isolating my daughter from her family. None of us are allowed in the house. I am not allowed to see the grandchildren on their birthdays or special days. I have supported my daughter every step of the way since the first grandchild was born especially financially and I even helped to deliver 2 of the children. This partner forbids her or her children to have contact with us because I challenged him about smacking the children and since then it has been an abosolute nightmare. I ven had to involve the police because she was to bring the children round to our house and when I wnet round to see them she would not even let me see them at the window to confirm they were okay. He was indoors with them and would not let them see me. One of the children was having special tuition as he has special needs at school and she even stopped that. I used to take one of them to Scouts and all 3 of them for swimming lessons and that was stopped also. When he is not around her, my daughter has contacted me and even texted me on my mobile. I am at my wits end to know what to do. I have been to see the Headteacher of their school and she agrees with me that it is affecting the children not being allowed contact with us. Can you give me any advice.

Answer:

Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your grandchildren.

Although you do not say when these problems first occurred, you seem to have had considerable involvement in your grandchildren's lives since they were first born which will stand you in good stead if you need to involve the courts.

Clearly the relationship between you and your daughter and her partner has broken down to such an extent that you are unlikely to be able to discuss these matters with them further. It may therefore be sensible for you (or you could ask a lawyer to do this on your behalf) to write to them making it clear that whatever the problems are between you and the parents, you only wish to maintain contact with your grandchildren who have very much enjoyed your input up to now and who must be puzzled and distressed by the lack of contact with you.  You should set out some proposals as to how to gradually start to re-introduce contact and ask them whether they would be prepared to attend a mediation meeting with a professional mediator to see whether you can all work together to sort something out.

If this is not successful then you can make an application to the local court for permission to apply for contact with the children.  This is an extra step that anyone who is not a parent of a child has to make and you will need to satisfy the court that you have a meaningful and important connection with the children in order to be granted permission. It sounds from what you say that you have had a high level of involvement in their lives and I do not think you would have any difficulty in obtaining that permission.

You would then be able to proceed with an application for contact and if you are able to establish that this would be in the children's best interests, the court would grant you contact.  That application is likely to involve a comprehensive report being carried out by a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to look into any welfare issues, to establish what the views of the children are and to look at the concerns of all parties who are involved.  That report will make a recommendation to the court as to what action they feel should be taken.

It sounds as though the involvement of CAFCASS may be very helpful in your case in view of your concerns about the effect your daughter's partner is having on them.  They will talk to any outside agencies they feel relevant in order to prepare their report and in your case I can see them wanting to discuss matters with the children's schools (including the special needs team), the police and possibly also the children's GP.  You do not say what position the children's father takes in this matter.  If he is supportive of your case he too may be very helpful.

These are potentially complex and difficult matters and I think that it would be helpful for you to seek further advice and assistance from a specialist lawyer on this matter.  Woolley & Co, solicitors regularly handle cases of this nature and offer a free initial half hour telephone consultation to discuss how we can help.  Call Judith Buckland on 0845 680 1651 or email judith.buckland@family-lawfirm.co.uk to arrange a convenient time to speak.

The  response has been prepared by Judith Buckland who is a very experienced solicitor with Woolley & Co.