Being a Grandparent

We are important

The older generation has always been important and 'beneficial' for grandchildren. A large research study on Finnish and Canadian women from 1700 and 1800 showed that if one ofthe grandmothers were alive, the grandchildren had a greater chance of survival. Even today, grandparents arevery important to grandchildren, even if it nowis not about survival. You can be important in many different ways. Few can fulfil the image of the perfect grandparent that gives their grandchild 'everything'. But almost everyone can give their grandchild something important and valuable that makes a difference in their life.

We are important because:

We convey traditions

We can tell stories of what it was like in 'the olden days'. For example what it was like before television and computers entered our lives, when cows were milked by hand and trees were cut by hand. What school was like, what people ate and what trains and cars looked like in the past.

We can teach new skills

We can teach our grandchildren to sew, stitch, grow vegetables, make embroidery, and do carpentry. We can help them do their homework, bake a pie or do the times tables.

We have time

We can read for them, play games, go fishing, walk in the woods and bake cakes with them.

We can tell them about our lives

Places we have lived, friends, our first love, our first job. We don't have to have had a very exciting life for our grandchildren to be fascinated by our stories.

We have time to listen

We can be attentive and encourage a conversation if we sense that our grandchildren are bothered about something. It can be nice to talk to someone who knows us well but is not our parent. Naturally we must respect their confidence.

We can tell stories about the past

No one can tell stories about our grandchildren's' parents like we can! We can show them pictures of where they grew up; we can bring them and show them places their parents visited when they were children. If the grandchild is adopted, we can talk about where they come from and do research about their background - maybe we can even take them to their country of birth.

We have time to talk

We can talk, discuss, listen, substantiate and endorse. It can be about big topics such as why there are wars, poverty, and death. At some ages and stages, children think a lot about death and what happens to us when we are dead. All of this is important that children get to discuss these things with adults.

We are interested in their world

Sometimes we can get closer to our grandchildren if we try and listen to their kind of music, watch films they like or play a computer game that they enjoy, or the simple job of reading a book together.

We can play

We can have fun together, play, dress-up, be silly and mess around

We can keep secrets

To have a confidante to tell secrets is a great asset. Parents don't need to know everything!

We represent security

We can be there, provide security, love and support if life becomes unsettled for the child, especially if parents separate or a parent becomes sick.

We love them

The most important thing is that we love them. And the more people that love a child - the better!

(Source: Barnbarnsboken by Malin Alfven and Kristina Hofsten. If anyone wants to publish this book in English, please contact Johanna Kinch, foreign rights manager at Norstedts Agency, tel: +4687698877, email johanna.kinch@norstedtsagency.se.)